Reuters reports that a Polish coffin company is now using nude and semi-nude models in their 2013 calendar in order to advertise their product. While babes in bikinis is a time-tested commercial strategy; when I was a young boy I often wondered about the wall calendar in my father's workshop-there did not seem to be any connection between attractive blondes and plumbing supplies that I could see, but then I was not an especially bright child; I do not believe that this method of advertising will stimulate coffin sales to any great extent. Nude women luxuriating in stylish coffins will not make the coffin's primary use any more popular than it already is and no amount of advertising can or will change that fact; like toilet paper, coffins are something you need when you need them and not before. Nude women in attitudes of erotic abandon may make what the French call the little death more interesting; indeed, you can argue that nude women and the little death were made for each other, that they go together like Burns and Allen, Abbott and Costello, or peanut butter and jelly; but no one is interested in dealing with the big death unless or until they absolutely have to. However, I do see a market for this sort of thing in Muslim countries, especially those countries infested with large numbers of jihadi suicide bombers. A stylish coffin could be the perfect recruiting tool in such places, especially if you can convince the customers that Miss November will be one of the 72 virgins he can expect to wait on him forever after he eliminates himself from the gene pool. Yes, I see a veritable fortune in the making there.
Labels: advertising, calendar, coffins, death, nudes, Poland, Reuters, Roberta Vasquez